Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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