I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
