She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
