Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Randomize
