On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
