Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
