Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
