office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
3pm strippers are depressing
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
