dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
3 2 1 whiskey
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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