God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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