Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
