SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
