I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She announced her abortion via fbk
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
