We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
