...so i touched it.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
