I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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