The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We had sex on a dog bed..
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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