You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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