I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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