brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
