some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
