Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
