It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
