Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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