last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
