Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Couch. On fire.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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