she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
