Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
