This girl is more easily done than said...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize