At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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