did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
