Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
