I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
