"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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