even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
