And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize