is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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