the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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