I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize