Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
