he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
