i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize