He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
