Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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