Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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