I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
