I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
