i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize