butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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