you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
