I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
