She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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