How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
