There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
