Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
