Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
