6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
