I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
vagina is talking i cant
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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