dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
