My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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