no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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