Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize