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• (614): View more from Ohio

  god. i hate danny gokey.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  he's mormon right? lame.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.

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• (209): View more from California

  Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.

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• (818): View more from California

  Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.

  Fav 1 539 718

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• (909): View more from California

  I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park

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• (818): View more from California

  Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again

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